I think about China and our little girl all.the.time. It's really quite distracting. The dishes and laundry pile up as I spend time learning about where our little one is from and what to expect when she comes home. Honestly, sometimes I am just daydreaming and doing nothing.
Ori is also developing a fascination for China. He wants to see where his sister lives. Today he has been asking me how to say certain words in Chinese so that he will understand his sister (my knowledge is limited!).
But I think it is time to figure out how to function a little better, huh? I sat on the porch swing this morning reading a book about Chinese orphans (one that has a personal connection to our daughter, and I could not put it down) only to look up and see that my children were sliding around in mud.
Nice. (I would have let them do it anyway, just not in the clothes they were wearing.)
I am also relearning to relinquish worry. Worry about our daughter when she is sooo far away from me. Worry about how she will adjust, and what exactly her medial needs will require. Worry about handling three small kids out and about when sometimes I can hardly manage two. Worry about losing my "social" life for a while (I know, silly, silly, but it will change). It can really spin me in a downward spiral fast . . . and, embarrassingly, most of those worries are about me. Can we say prideful?!
The truth?
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
We cannot wait to hold her in our arms . . . but life must continue, and I do not want to be so consumed with myself while we wait. ;)
Need a challenge in perspective? Read this.
3 comments on "Distracted"
i get distracted ALL of the time, but not for such important things like your little girl! you are more than allowed-i'll let you :o)
I am praying for you Julie!! Kreg and I hope to adopt one day and your journey has been so insightful and admirable to watch unfold. HUGS!! I think of you often!
i remember those days well. it is hard to think about anything but your sweet baby. it's a special thing that your kiddos are interested in china s well...it makes a big difference when you share with them your thoughts and feelings and missing their sister. they might be feeling sadder about it than you realize. i remember talking to foster about emery one evening and all of the sudden he was sobbing, telling me how much he missed her...i didn't realize how effected he was by the wait. kids are so insightful. praying for your baby tonight :)
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