The big bad brace.

I've had several questions regarding Katee's new brace, and finally have a little time (and energy!) to answer.

How is Katee doing in her brace?
Immediately after her new brace was put on at the hospital last week, she made it very clear that she was not a fan. She cried for about 4 hours straight. Not exaggerating.
The first several days and nights were frustrating, to say the least. She was basically immobile and couldn't figure out how to scoot during the day or turn around in her crib at night. We have had physical therapy, and I have been working with her too. She is figuring out how to scoot, army crawl, and roll in her brace and that makes her a happy girl. I am confident she will adjust just fine and this will all be a vague memory.

How long does she have to wear her brace?
 Katee will wear this brace for 2-3 months, 22 hours a day. After that, she will move to AFOs (ankle braces that you wear with tennis shoes). She will, however, wear this brace at night for several years.
We have been LOVING her two hours of freedom each day. She isn't ready to have her feet in sand or grass yet (they are still so sensitive from being casted), but loves water!

Can she stand now that her feet are straight?

No. Unfortunately, it isn't that simple. Katee will not be standing on unsupported ankles any time soon. Her legs have never been used and are kind of like little baby legs. :) Her doctor's are still very confident that she will walk and we look forward to that day!

What about her dislocated hip?
The doctor will address her hip once we get her feet fully corrected and help her start walking. He is still thinking she will need surgery at some point.

 
I am thankful we take this all a step at a time. God, in His great sovereignty, didn't let me know all of Katee's needs when she was referred to us. And I am glad; had I known, I would have missed one of life's greatest gifts. She is my daughter and we ADORE her. Together as a family depending on God, we can do hard things. I think this video of another family's experience of an unknown medical need says it all:

Thank you to all of those who have prayed for Katee and have inquired about her newest transition. We are blessed.

6 months.Braces.Mud.

Yesterday was an amazing day! It not only marked exactly 6 months since Katee was placed in our arms, but also her child dedication at church and Mother's Day (more on that soon!). It is beautiful to see how far Katee has come in 6 months. My "velcro baby" is becoming more secure in her family and no longer needs mommy every second of every day. In fact, she seemed very at peace yesterday and played with her grandparents and cousins all afternoon. She's a beautiful, beautiful gift!!

Now to catch up a bit . . . 
Last week we took Katee to Kansas City for her brace fitting. For those familiar with clubbed feet, we are getting a Dobbs bar, which will allow her a bit more freedom to move her legs. We pick up the brace this Wednesday and she will wear it 22 hours a day for a few months.


While we wait for her brace to be made, Katee is sporting these cute little pink casts. It's her first time in short casts and it's nice that she can move her knees. However, she has been a little sad as she had just figured out how to walk while pushing her baby stroller while in her full-leg casts (so proud of her!!). Since she has been casted for almost 5 months, her muscles are very weak and she doesn't have the strength to do that with her short-leg casts. We keep practicing, though. She is determined!


The big kids have been loving the mud lately.

 
It makes a mess, but it's just part of life in the country. Their happiest times are spent playing in the water/mud or observing nature on our recent trips to nature parks.

 
I truly believe that kids need to spend a decent amount of time outside when they can. The unstructured play does wonders (and it isn't always messy)!

Have a great week!

Show up.

My mom blessed my sisters and I this past weekend by taking us to the Women of Faith conference. It was a sweet time, for many reasons.

At the conference, Lisa Terkeurst shared her adoption story, and I found it relevant to where I am at right now.


The road to our adopted children, while full of hurdles and disappointments, is also full of multiple encounters that can only be explained by God. His hand moves mountains to bring the fatherless home. I've seen it firsthand.

Once home, life is beautiful and full . . . but can also be a tad overwhelming. Sleep deprivation is never fun, especially when you are a person who really needs 8 plus hours of sleep to function (Ian says I am really mean in the middle of the night! oops!). Medical trips can be exhausting. Surgeries pretty much stink. Bonding and attachment take time and intentionality.


Sometimes I just don't feel like I have what it takes to care for these three beautiful (and highly energetic) blessings and their unique needs and personalities. Sometimes I am not patient. Some days, these three little people know just how to push Mama's buttons.

Lisa challenged us to bring what we have and show up every day. Bring our little bit of willingness to God each morning and expect Him to meet us and do the "more than enough/impossible."


I am committed to "showing up" each day and offering God the little I have to give. He will meet me. He will guide me as I strive to train my children to know Jesus and love people. He will give me grace as I depend on Him and ask for wisdom in raising my kids. God promises that He will complete the good work He began in me and in my family (Phil. 1:6). He is present in my life and He will guide us, even in daily matters (Prov. 3:5-6).

Today, I am thankful for His promises!

Pictures by Firefly Moments Photography.

Hide and Seek Muffins

Since cutting major sugar sources out of my diet (with a few cheats here and there), I have found myself missing baking with my kids. We used to bake cookies together all the time. I loved it. And so did they.

I saw a muffin recipe in my Pretend Soup cookbook that only called for a 1/4 cup of sugar, and it proved to be a great-baking-with-children recipe.

Preheat oven to 375 and line muffin tin with papers. Mix 1 1/2 cups of flour, 2 tsp. baking powder, 1/2 tsp. baking soda, 1/2 tsp. salt, and  1/4 cup sugar together in a bowl.

 

In a separate bowl, mix 2 eggs, 1 cup milk, 1/2 tsp. vanilla, and 4 T. melted butter. Whisk about 20 times and then pour dry ingredients into it; stir until "the flour disappears". Divide batter between 12 muffin papers.


The highlight of this muffin recipe is that the kids get to hide a piece of fruit in the center of the muffin. We used strawberries, but banana chunks, cherries, or peaches could work too. The kids rolled the strawberries in a *little* sugar and then pressed them into the center of the muffin.

Bake for 15 min. and enjoy.

Ori can't wait for Daddy to try a muffin because "he will be so surprised when he takes a bite!"
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In other news, who would have ever guessed that our little girl who came home from China disliking grass, dirt, rocks, dogs, etc. would find so much joy in holding a snake skin 5 months later???

So weird, Katee. She kept saying, "My snake. My snake." Even Calla (Miss Sensory Seeker) wouldn't touch it. Katee is definitely our animal-lover, and I suppose snakes are included. :)

Happy weekend!!

5 months home.

This girl has been home for 5 months. Almost half a year. I can't even rememeber life without her.


She requested her hair "like Sissy's" and I was happy to oblige. And yes, she dumped out the dog food. 
Her surgery nearly a month ago kind of put us all in a funk (hence the lack of blogging). We've had several weeks of too little sleep, and I've had a clingy baby on my hip almost full-time once again. Surgeries are hard on these sweet children. Five months ago Katee lost all she knew; put surgery on top of all that, and it's just a little tough. Can't blame her one bit.


However . . . this week has been a breath of fresh air. She has been sleeping through the night (most nights) AND has been a more happy and content little girl during the day. I'm so thankful.


Mowing with Daddy was the best. Katee loves tractors and mowers.
The Katee who is emerging out of her post-adoption/surgery shell is so much fun. She's loud. Talkative. Silly. Friendly. Extremely loving to her mama. I am truly in awe of her progress and the way she is being grafted into our family.


Medical update: We went back for a cast change on April 8th, and were pleased to hear that this is her LAST set of casts (until her feet regress at some point, which is typical with arthrogryposis). We go back in a few weeks to remove the casts and receive a brace. After a couple months in a brace full-time, Katee will receive AFOs and we can start teaching her to walk. Pretty exciting stuff.

Happy 5 months home, Katee Qing!

Lonesome Dreams {Ori}

Ian just finished this little video of Ori, and I love it.

Background for video: I was making bread crumbs for meatballs, and Ori asked for some bread scraps to feed the birds with. He took the bread and ran outside while I finished cooking. When Ian came home, Ori wanted to show Daddy where he put the bread for the birds. Pretty clever. ;)

 
Lonesome Dreams from Ian Van Johnson on Vimeo.

This is so Ori right now: running around the farm, exploring, creating, asking questions, and figuring things out. Love my sweet four-year-old. Thank you, Ian, for capturing him in his element. :)

Every hour I need You.

I was really convicted about a few things this past week as I studied my BSF lesson on Genesis 34-36. In this passage, Jacob was coming out of a really hard 20 years and had just encountered a really special meeting with God. He found a comfortable place to dwell (not the place God told him to go) and was probably just enjoying life and his family and let spiritual obligations slide a bit. He began to neglect directing his household to "keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just" (Gen. 18:19) and the result was a family tragedy. His daughter was raped and two of his sons went on a mass killing spree to get revenge. The line of the Messiah was almost destroyed. A time of spiritual cleansing and repentance followed, and our faithful God continued to bless this family.

As we worked through our adoption process last year, we too had many special experiences with God. Those encounters were precious. They proved that nothing was impossible with God and confirmed that He was indeed leading our family to a specific child. Many times I repented of fear and worry only to be blessed with a large financial donation the very next day (or a quick Travel Approval in another instance).

But now we are home. Life is a little bit normal, although I no longer feel like a "great mom" as I navigate parenting a child from a hard place along with two other active young ones. I honestly feel like I am in a season of discipline, and I know God wants to change me. However, I'm so tired (somebody hasn't been sleeping well since surgery) and often just want want to eat chocolate and play on my phone instead of being a fully present mom throughout the day. 

Surgery caused my sweet daughter to struggle emotionally again. I can't leave the room without crying and/or panic following. I look at her reaching for me constantly and think,  "Do I need Jesus as much as she needs me?" Her current constant neediness is showing me what it looks like to truly need Jesus all day long. Her desire for me to be in the same room as her reminds me to not take my eyes off Christ even for an hour. Why do I think I can coast through my days or check out? I need Jesus. I need to be in His word and in communication with Him. I need to constantly be receiving His power to react and love like Him. It's the only way I can love Katee as she demands much of me right now. It's the only way I can respond with love to my husband. It's the only way I can maintain consistency in disciplining Ori and Calla. It's the only way to be filled with joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.

Like Jacob, I find myself in need of some cleansing. Some repentance. I realized last week that I wasn't truly feeling sorrow over my daily sins of selfishness, impatience, poor use of time, etc. I wasn't seeing my need for Jesus, but doing life on my own strength. To go along with the need for cleansing, I'm giving up major sugar sources this month (although I will probably eat a small piece of cake at my niece's birthday party this weekend) and am praying about boundaries for my phone usage (please share if you have good ideas that work for you). I know giving up those things I love will cause my heart to depend even more on the Lord and am praying that God would make me more like Him as I strive to raise my kids and love my husband and those around me. I also know His blessings will abound. He is a faithful Father! 

(and thanks for "listening" to me process all this!)